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Tuesday, July 11th, 2006
9:54 am - MC Hammer Bread on Ebay
Do you guys remember this? Hilarious.

MC Hammer bread on ebayCollapse )

(put your big girl panties on)

Monday, July 3rd, 2006
3:22 pm - My latest addiction...
I bankrupt this shit every time.

Run a McDonald's Franchise

(put your big girl panties on)

10:29 am - Help Us Out!
So I stopped writing my own section for www.thetartcart.com but I do continue to answer the Ask-a-Tart questions. The problem is, we're getting lame questions in! We need your help!

Some of the hard-hitting topics we've handled are:

- Who is Pete Sake?
- I've heard that if you pee on your feet in the shower if will help prevent or help get rid of Athlete's foot. Is this true or am I just warming my feet with no medicinal effects?
- If u a pimp and your ho is your bitch then how do you feel?
- Why is it some people's second toe grows longer than their big toe? Isn't that the reason for calling it the big toe - cause its supposed to be the biggest?
- Why can't I wear white pants after labor day?

So if you have five minutes please go to Ask-a-Tart and ask a question. It just might wind up on the site. (and fyi, our Alexa ranking is currently 87,888 so we have a pretty large bunch of peeps reading this shit - you could be famous!)

(put your big girl panties on)

10:16 am - very fun weekend
This weekend was great. Nothing spectacular happened but I just feel like I've come out of a pms haze. It also really feels good to get out of the house and see the sun shining.

Friday I chilled at home but Peter and I sat in so much traffic to get there that we were smoked by the time we got there.

On Saturday Peter and I visited Jordan's Lobster Farms for the first time this season. We got our usual (the triple - 3 1lb lobsters, 2 corn on the cob, chips, cole slaw) and sat outside by the water. It was a beautiful day and the sun was shining. Then we headed over to the Source Mall so I could get a bridal shower gift. We had plans with another couple but wound up also going out with my brother and his fiance. We got two-fers at Chile's and had some dinner. Then we headed over to my stepbro's place for some more drinks. Peter and I wound up crashing at Matt's place because it was so late. The two of us had to fit on his couch (a regular one, not a pull-out one) but it was a very comfortable sleep. Matt and Tanya asked if I'd watch their house while they're on their honeymoon and I was like, ummm YES! Sweeeeeeeet. But that is all the way in October.

Sunday was my cousin's bridal shower. I'm glad I got to see my mom - it's been a while. I also stopped at my grandma's place before I headed home. She sent me home with two huge boxes of yarn and taught me a new crochet stitch. She's so cute. I don't visit her that much so I think it made her night.

I'm in such a good mood now. I had a great weekend and the sun is out again. Feels good.

(2 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

Thursday, June 29th, 2006
11:36 am - death to technology!
Is anyone else having problems with livejournal?

First I have had some problems logging in over the past week. I tried changing my password and changing it back but that hasn't seemed to help.

Second, all my userpics except for my default have disappeared from the dropdown. I raised the issue on the help board but to no avail.

Third, whenever I try to make a memory private I can't find it later in the list of keywords. (and yes, I am signed in at the time)

Dear Livejournal,

Stop being a douche.


(put your big girl panties on)

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
10:53 pm - yes, i'm back
i'm back, but head is still swirling so instead of talking about my trip I will do this music thingy I got from elite instead...

1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press next track for each question.
3. Use the song titles to answer the questions, even if it doesn't make sense.

Will you get far in life?

Well, Well - Nelly Furtado [hmmm, okay]

How do your friends see you?

Cold Contagious - Bush [I don't think I like where this is going...]

Will you get married?

High Time We Went - Joe Cocker [I'll take that as a yes?]

What is your best friend's theme song?

Dissention - Orgy [This definitely WAS my best friend's theme song - but now it is WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!]

What is the story of your life?

Greedy Fly - Bush [This thing is being unfair. I want a do-over!]

What was high school like?

Doo Wop (That Thing) - Lauryn Hill [I guess this is pretty appropriate. NOT! This is more like college.]

How can you get ahead in life?

Carpet Muncher - u-Ziq [So much for the traditional sleep your way to the top, huh]

What is the best thing about your friends?

Live Like You Were Dying - Tim McGraw [uhhhh, I don't think any of them are living like they're dying.]

What is today going to be like?

Mustang Sally [Umm, it's going to be fast?]

What is in store for this weekend?

We Both Reached For The Gun - Chicago Soundtrack [Oh god, this is just getting worse and worse.]

What song describes you?

Breakdown - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers [Ummm, okay, if you want to look at it from the angle of Peter breaking down my defenses and winning me over :) Now we're getting somewhere.]

To describe your grandparents?

Hey Mama - Kanye West [hahahaha, okay]

How is your life going?

Anyway, Anyhow, Anywhere - The Who [haha, fucking awesome.]

What song will they play at your funeral?

Mack the Knife - Ella Fitzgerald [Please help me.]

How does the world see you?

A Sunday - Jimmy Eat World [This is just terrible.]

What do your friends really think of you?

In My Life - The Beatles [Not so bad. I guess I have seen a lot in my almost 24 years.]

Do people secretly lust after you?

Mindchanger - Bush [I have no idea from this song, but I'm going to go with yes anyway.]

How can I make myself happy?

Top of The World (To The Simple Two) - The Juliana Theory [Ok, got it.]

What should you do with your life?

Ohio - Neil Young [There is no fucking way I am going to Ohio to kill people.]

Will you ever have children?

Rockin' in the Free World - Neil Young [Apparently not. Not with the world as shitty as this song describes.]

Well. That sure was fun. Good thing I don't take these things too literally. I think I'm going to go to bed now and never get up. Night ya'll!

current mood: weird

(put your big girl panties on)

Wednesday, May 24th, 2006
9:49 am - The most unbelieveable story EVER.
This story is just so unbelieveable, a regular friends page can't even contain it - it must be housed behind a cut.Collapse )

current mood: annoyed

(2 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

9:48 am - I love hearing about myself.
From wickedqueen

If I am on your friends list, why am I on your friends list?

Comment below, and add the question to your LJ, so I can return the favor...

(3 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

9:45 am - This is utterly disgusting...
So much of this is just so wrong on so many levels...

Girl, 11, will be Britain's youngest mother

(1 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

Wednesday, May 17th, 2006
9:36 am - how the hell are ya!
So I saw my first quasi-famous person yesterday. After a combined total of 2 years working in Manhattan I FINALLY see someone. Anyway, it was this guy:

His name is Judah Friedlander. He's a comedian, but he's also been in a few movies (Date Movie, American Splendor, Wet Hot American Summer) and he's also on Best Week Ever on VH1. My "star sighting" occurred on the corner of 35th and 7th when I was on my way to meet Peter for lunch. And yea, he totally looks like he does in his photo. Anyway, he seems like a really funny guy. Check out his website if you have a chance: www.judahfriedlander.com

In Laptop news, Peter came over last night and hooked.my.shit.UP! Wireless network connection, Microsoft Office, Adobe Writer thingy, and he bought me a sweet-ass graphics tablet. wheeeeeeee doggies!

My latest passion is ebay. It all started because I'm trying to clean out my closet and make more room in my bedroom. I got rid of a cd tower that was also home to a lava lamp my brother bought me some time in the 90's. I felt guilty throwing it away so decided to put it on ebay for like $5.99. That bitch is up to $8.99 with three days to go. Ohhhh yeeeaaaaaaaa. It's being watched by some SERIOUS lava lamp collectors. Like they own upwards of 80 lamps kind of collectors. But, more-so than selling, I've been a bidding machine. I bought a GPS handheld so I could bring it with me to Annual Training in Louisiana. I also just won an auction for vintage Huk-a-poo shirt. My latest goal in life is to own every awesome Huk-a-poo shirt still in existence. These have got to be the craziest disco shirts ever created. Ever.

And in past news, I got sick on the LIRR on last Thursday. It was my own fault for ordering CHICKEN LIVER for lunch at Ben's but it seemed like it would be really tasty. I guess my stomach can't handle that much liver at one time. Ick. Luckily I was right next to the bathroom car so I didn't lose it in front of everyone and make their commute suck that much more. But that bathroom was naaaassssssttttty. I never want to have my face hovering that close to the LIRR toilet hole again. Yuck. But I'm better now, thanks for asking.

current mood: good

(6 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

Thursday, May 11th, 2006
1:09 pm - hi hi hi
gif animation

So, Star from Power 105.1 was fired for saying he wanted to do an R. Kelly on Envy from Hot 97's 4 yr-old daughter. I never really liked Star anyway, he hesitates too much in the middle of his sentences. So the whole morning show from Power 105.1 is suspended. Sucks to be them!

What else? The t-shirt site is coming along. Some dude from Oregon ordered a Sho'nuff button and a Ho's Love Fro's mini-button. Pretty sweet.

Tomorrow is a much-anticipated roomie date with Sarah. Whoooo hooooo! Saturday will be a going away party for a soldier in my unit who's being deployed to Iraq. It's unfortunately up in Kingston so Peter and I will stay overnight.

And yea, that's pretty much it. I got a laptop so that's pretty exciting for me.

Off to lunch with Peter now. mmmmmm Ben's.

current mood: chipper

(put your big girl panties on)

Friday, April 28th, 2006
3:27 pm - materialism... now!
I've been having a lot of late nights lately at the computer. No, I haven't been slummin' it on myspace, I've actually been working on a cafepress t-shirt site for thetartcart. Having only used photoshop in the past to touch up photos I'm finding it QUITE more advanced than the Paint program with regard to drawing. But, it's a great program. I've got about three finished designs so far. I toiled away for quite some time mocking these up. I'm getting much better as I go along, too. I can't wait to have the shop up and running!

That's right, fools, better rec-ah-nize!

Click here for two more awesome and very cool designs by yours trulyCollapse )

In other site news, we've moved over to a new layout for thetartcart.com. I wasn't a fan of the old one as it was a bit cluttered and confusing and dark. We also put in a new backbone and all the videos load a lot faster. Sooooo... if you haven't been in a while, check us out: www.thetartcart.com

current mood: creative

(5 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

Thursday, April 20th, 2006
12:14 pm - check out my sweet dance moves

I did about an hour's worth of African dance alone in my room last night. Flippin' sweet!

(put your big girl panties on)

Monday, April 17th, 2006
5:30 pm
"Just Because" is the best reason to get flowers. Thaaaank you.

(put your big girl panties on)

Friday, April 14th, 2006
1:51 pm - what to do, what to do...
For Lent this year I decided to give something up: Soda. Didn't seem too difficult at the time, but now that I am two days away from Easter just the thought of cracking open an ice cold can of Coke gives me goosebumps. Oh sweet cola, I miss you so.

Anyway, I find my self at an impass this afternoon. Two nights ago Peter and I took home some DJ Houdek's chicken fuscilli dish which is scrum-dilly-umpcious. It's even better after it's been sitting in the fridge a day or two. I forgot to bring it to work for lunch yesterday, but brought it today. Herein lies the dilemma. It's Good Friday and we're not supposed to eat meat. This dish contains chicken. Are a few pieces of chicken worth an eternity of suffering in hell?

My stomach is saying yes. And that's enough for me.

current mood: hungry

(7 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

Tuesday, April 11th, 2006
3:13 pm - excite-much?
I just redid my user profile! Whoopie!

Clearly I am getting SO much work done today.

Counting the minutes to roomie date...

current mood: hyper

(1 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

Friday, April 7th, 2006
4:46 pm - I love me.
I went to a workshop at Mediabistro last night in the city. It was called "Writing the Comic Memoir" and the instructor was writer Neal Pollack. The class wasn't so much a place to work on your writing or anything, it was more a creative forum of sharing ideas to help get you started/focused.

There was a small group of us. After a lengthy talk about his own experiences, Neal had us go around the table and one by one talk about what we were working on or any ideas we had about a possible story. I went in there with no real direction and a handful of funny rants under my belt that had no real connection and came out with an idea. However, the problem about memoir-writing is that it is extremely personal. Do I really want everyone to know that much about me?

I think other than getting the inspiration and focus for my own story, the best part of the class was listening to everyone else. When I first walked in there I started sizing up the rest of the people in the room like what do these people have to say about themselves that's so important. As they each started to speak I suddenly realized I may be the most normal and boring person in the room. The most interesting guy there had a mother who was an agoraphobic wicken that prayed to a radio tower; he attended Catholic school where priests tried (unsuccessfully) to molest him. He challenged the archdiocese of New York to change his confirmation name. His wheelchair-bound grandfather was put in a home and was so miserable there that he organized a break-out with the other wheelchair-men. He was also the paperboy for the Son of Sam.

As everyone went around and told their stories I started frantically thinking of what I could possibly say. Out of nowhere, I suddenly realized that there really is no person that is "normal". Everyone has a story. The problem is we usually don't think there's much to tell about ourselves. I do have a really interesting past. My romantic escapades alone could fill an entire book! I realized this to myself as I was running through my mind to find anything that might seem a little "dysfunctional". It's really all in how you tell it. I have a way of taking really tramautic things and making fun of them. I also take really mundane things and make fun of them. But if you have a good enough memory and a good enough sense of humor, everyone has had enough things happen to them in their life whether they be 23 or 63 years old that they could tell a really good story.

So I think I am going to tell my story after all. I may never endeavor to get it published and keep it all to myself, or it could turn into a bestseller and a movie and make me millions. Who knows. No matter the outcome, though, I think the fun will be in the telling.

current mood: creative

(1 is dealing with it | put your big girl panties on)

1:00 pm - Stolen from tater_tot74
Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who
were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis,
would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the response for this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here
are the facts about the three candidates.

Candidate A.
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologist. He's
had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B.
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in
college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C.
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an
occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first... no
peeking, then scroll down for the response.


Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.
Candidate B is Winston Churchill.
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, on your answer to the abortion question: If you said
YES, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.
Wait till you see the end of this note! Keep reading...

Never be afraid to try something new.
Remember: Amateurs...built the ark.
Professionals...built the Titanic

And Finally, can you imagine working for a company that has a little more
than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
* 29 have been accused of spousal abuse
* 7 have been arrested for fraud
* 19 have been accused of writing bad checks
* 117 have directly or indirectly bankrupted at least 2 businesses
* 3 have done time for assault
* 71 cannot get a credit card due to bad credit
* 14 have been arrested on drug-related charges
* 8 have been arrested for shoplifting
* 21 are currently def endants in lawsuits
* 84 have been arrested for drunk driving in the last year...

Can you guess which organization this is?

Give up yet?

It's the 535 members of the United States Congress. The same group
that crank out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest
of us in line.

(put your big girl panties on)

12:01 pm - Stolen from dkappr
Go to Wikipedia. In the Search box, type your birth month and day (but not year). List three events that happened on your birthday. List two important birthdays and one interesting death. Post this in your journal.

August 26th

-55 BC - Julius Caesar invades Britain
-1839 - The ship Amistad is captured off Long Island.
-1920 - 19th amendment to U.S. Constitution gives women the right to vote.

-1935 - Geraldine Ferraro, U.S. Vice Presidential candidate
-1980 - Macaulay Culkin, American actor

-1974 - Charles Lindbergh, American aviator (b. 1902)

(put your big girl panties on)

Monday, April 3rd, 2006
3:36 pm - Smile! It's Monday!
Some people are like Slinkies, not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs...

(put your big girl panties on)

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